Tuesday 7th started as it meant to go on with the sun shining in the soft blue sky. I’m not trying to be being cliché when I say that; pathetic fallacy exists for a reason. For me, the sun really does have an unbelievable effect on my mood. So I woke up happy and got dressed for breakfast (Coco Pops of course). After breakfast my wonderful masseuse Jodie paid me a visit and kept the good times rolling. Much to my delight the weather decided to give the oh-so-carefully predicted forecast the finger and the sun stayed out to play.
I had a quick lunch and then headed down to the lake because when the sun is shining and the wind is resting there is no place I’d rather be. Take a look for yourself…
When I’m not writing you’ll either find me up a wall, climbing, or at Quays on the lake, wake-boarding. That’s my tattered old wakeboard you can see on the dock. I’ve been wakeboarding since I was twelve so that board is about nine years old now and it is, essentially, a death trap. Despite this, on Tuesday 7th March 2017 I had one of my best wakeboarding sets ever. I’m going to disappoint you now because I didn’t do anything spectacular (well unless you count the falls I took before everything twigged). That’s what happened by the way, that’s what made it one of the best wakeboarding sets ever, everything twigged. I didn’t just start to land the moves I was working on; I knew why I was landing them.
Right, time for a detour, brace yourself because I’m taking a pretty sudden turn here. Meditation. Meditation and I have an ‘on-again’ ‘off-again’ relationship. When I was 17 I meditated every day for five months. I learnt a lot about the different techniques, one of which is visualisation. In the last year I’ve sat down to meditate a grand total of zero times, which is fine, I don’t feel bad about it, meditation is not what my mind needs at the moment. But what this means is that my relationship with the practise is firmly in the ‘off-again’ stage so I don’t know why, yesterday, of all days, my mind decided to start visualising like a guru on steroids.
I didn’t realise what I was doing at first. I was fed up of getting ice cream headaches every time I fell into the lake doing a jump that I knew I could do. And let me tell you, ice cream headaches are an awful lot less fun when it’s freezing cold lake water causing them instead of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food. So I took a breath. I talked myself through the move, picturing myself as I did so, executing each part of the jump as I knew it should be done. Then I cut out on my toe-side, edged back into the wake, jumped up, twisted, landed and rode away. Holy Macaroni… I am not exaggerating when I say I felt as if I’d made the future come true. I did this again and again and nine times out of ten it worked. ‘It’s official’, I thought, ‘I’m magic’.
Of course I didn’t actually discover that I’m a witch – it was a good day but it wasn’t that good – no, what I did was something I’m sure thousands of people all over the world do. If you want to give it a technical term it was simple visualisation. I just never realised it worked until yesterday. I’d tried before and it hadn’t. And I think I know why now.
It felt different, what I did yesterday, it was stronger. It was missing the element of doubt that I realise, now, had always been present before. I can’t say for sure why yesterday was different but I have a hunch and I reckon the hunch is a close cousin of the gut feeling – they’re almost always right. I’m a lot more confident that I was a few years ago. I’m changing. Not into a different person but into myself. I feel more like me than I have in years and with that has come a sureness, of myself, of what I can do.
When I pictured myself flying through the air on my wakeboard it didn’t work because I believed I could do it, it worked because I didn’t believe I couldn’t do it. More than that, the thought didn’t even cross my mind. It wasn’t a question of belief, it was fact. I was sure and I was confident so I was happy.
That, my dear readers, is why Tuesday was a good day.